North Park
by B1ox1d3
Summary: The boys have gotten into big trouble. They have been expelled from school and must move to North Park. Meanwhile, there's trouble back home in South Park. What crazy things will happen in this other crazy little, redneck, podunk, white-trash, mountain town?
1. Chapter 1: Expelled

_Chapter 1: Expelled_

"I am very unhappy with your behavior, m'kay?" Mr. Mackey exclaimed.

"You boys are in a lot of trouble this time!" Principal Victoria said. The four boys sat in silence, their heads down, as they awaited their furious parents' arrival. A knock is heard as the first parents arrive.

"You called us Principal Victoria?" Mr. Tucker asked.

"Yes, I'm afraid Craig and his friends are in a lot of trouble. I'm waiting for the other parents to arrive to explain.

A few minutes pass and the other parents slowly knock on the door to Mr. Mackey's office. The Tweaks, the Blacks, and Mr. Donovan all sit down.

"Uh, now that you're all here, we'd like to explain what this is all about, m'kay?"

"What have our boys done?" Mr. Black asked. "Token's not a bad kid."

"Well the boys were caught in the middle of a disgusting act, and I'm afraid I have no choice. For the safety of the other children, your boys must be expelled.

"AH! Expelled? That's way too much pressure!" Tweek blurted out. Clyde began to cry.

"What exactly did our boys do?" Mrs. Tucker asked, worried.

"I'll be glad to explain, m'kay? But I'm afraid that the boys will have to leave first. School policy. All expelled students must leave the property, m'kay?"

The boys walk down the hallway towards the door.

"What happened Craig?" Kyle asked.

"We've been expelled. We have to leave school." He replied.

"Aw no fair. Why does Craig not have to go to school?" Cartman asked, upset.

"Shut up fat ass. They still have to go to school just not here." Kyle replied angrily.

"Expelled? Why? What you did wasn't even that bad. Hell, it was funny." Stan said.

"It was pretty sweet." Cartman agreed. The boys said their goodbyes and they headed for the door.

An hour later, their parents came out the front door of the yellow school building. They are clearly upset.

Mr. Donovan stepped forward. "We are very unhappy with you boys! Now we have to send you to a new school. Go home and pack your things boys, we're moving to North Park."

**End of Chapter 1**

A/N: I'll be adding to this daily. And feel free to give any suggestions for how I can improve. It is my first story after all


	2. Chapter 2: Moving on Up

_Chapter 2: Moving on Up_

Clyde thought to himself as sat the correct way on the toilet. He didn't think what they did was all that big a deal. It was just a joke. No one was meant to get hurt. And now he had to leave and move to North Park. He'd never see his friends again. He'd never see his hot girlfriend Lisa Berger again. He finished and left the seat up while flipping off his mom's ghost as he left the bathroom to continue packing.

...

Tweek was shaking violently. He was worried about moving to a new school. Being the new kid is so much pressure. He gathered his few pairs of underwear weren't stolen by gnomes and packed them away. His room was barren with nothing but his bed and dresser left. He picked up his last tote of belongings and brought it out to the moving truck. He looked up at his dark brown house for what could be the last time. Mr. Tweak called for his son to get in. Tweek miserably walked to the car. He didn't mean for it to happen. It was an accident. He didn't know it would hurt someone.

...

Token watched from the front yard as the Mexicans his family hired to move their stuff to the trucks unloaded the house. He looked up at his family's mansion. He felt no sadness, as their new North Park house was exactly like it. It even had a swimming pool in the back yard and another game room. He was actually excited. So excited that he didn't care that what happened was partially his fault as well.

...

Craig sat on the floor in his room. It was boring, just how he likes it. He finished packing a while ago and was waiting for his family to finished. He didn't mind leaving. He was tired of Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny always destroying the town and swindling him out of his 100 dollars. He hoped North Park would be a nice change to the hectic events of South Park. He thought about what had happened only hours before and laughed to himself when he thought of how funny it was.

The four boys arrived in North Park and moved into their new homes. They all lived next to each other, except for Token who lived alone because he is rich. Clyde admired the boys' new houses. They all looked the same as every house in South Park. Craig's house was a Dark Blue with a dark green door. Tweek's house was red with a yellow door. His house was brown with a brown door just like back home, which he felt made it feel more like home. He then looked up into the mountains where Token's house sat, overlooking the small town.

...

"Hey, Clyde." Craig called. Clyde walked over where Craig and Tweek were standing. "Want to come with me and Tweek? We're going to explore the town."

"What about Token?" He replied.

"Fuck him. He can see the whole town from his goddamn palace on the mountain." The boys walked down the street to explore their new hometown.

They walked down the main street of town, surprised to see many similarities to their own town. Jim's Rhinoplasty, centered in the street stood next to an empty office building. To the right of that was a small grocery store. Beyond that was boring office buildings and nail salons. To the left of Jim's was a Bennigan's and a video game store. At the end of the street stood a Best Buy which was part of the North Park Mall. It was nice, but not as good as South Park's mall. They then came across their new school, North Park Elementary. It was a blue building with a similar design to their old school. They dreaded having to go there tomorrow.

"I don't like this." Clyde said.

"What? The town?" Craig asked.

"No. All this. Moving from our old school. Leaving all our friends. And all because we-". A loud bang cut Clyde off. They looked to find someone who was crushed under the Min-Ling's Nail & Spa sign that had come loose and fallen. They went closer and recognized the person.

"Oh my god, they killed Kenny!" Clyde exclaimed.

"You bastards!" Craig yelled, flipping the bird to the sky.

**End of Chapter 2**


	3. Chapter 3: North Park Elementary

_Chapter 3: North Park Elementary_

The boys stood at the bus stop in an awkward silence. All except Token, who was too rich to take the bus. They waited in silence for it to arrive. A loud horn was heard as the bus sped down the street. It breezed by Tweek, which caused him to jump, and came to a stop down the road. They headed for the bus where they met their new driver, Frank. He was African American with short, black hair like Token.

"Wassup Mothafuckas?" He said. "Come on get in. We late."

The boys sat together in the back of the bus. The bus was filthy. There was gum all over the floor and most of the seats were torn. There were streaks of what appeared to be blood down the aisle. Craig just sighed at the sight if this.

"Hey, are you guys new?" A young blonde boy in front of them asked.

"Yeah" Clyde replied.

"Cool! We don't have many new kids moving here. Where you guys from?"

"S-South Park" Tweek blurted out. The blonde boy just stared at them for a moment. He had heard of what happens in South Park. Giant robotic singers attacking the town, a possessed Wall-Mart, and all sorts of crazy things.

"You ok kid?" Craig asked when he noticed him staring.

"Oh yeah. I was just thinking of how cool it will be to have new kids in school." The bus ride after was quiet, until they reached the last stop before school. Three kids got on the bus and headed for the back.

"Hey!" A large, blonde-haired boy with an accent stepped towards them. He was much bigger than them, and probably stronger too. "Those are our seats."

"Well, we're sitting here." Craig said with an emotionless face.

"Get up or we'll kick your asses!" A slightly smaller black-haired boy stepped towards Craig. The boys didn't move. Tweek tried to, but Craig made him stay. The third boy, the smallest of the three who was only in third grade, grabbed Clyde by his shirt and threw him to the floor. Craig stood up to defend his friend. The bigger boy punched him in the face. A warm stream of blood ran down his face. Realizing they didn't need any more trouble, he helped Clyde up and joined Tweek, who had run off when Clyde was thrown.

"Oh by the way." The blonde boy from earlier said. "Don't sit in the back. That's Trent Boyette's seat. The other two are his friends Rick and Little Leo. 'Trent Boyette?' Craig thought to himself. He had heard of him when Stan and those guys were worried about his return, but he was supposed to be in Juvenal Hall. "By the way, my name is Dylan." The three boys chatted during the rest of the short bus ride to school.

They arrived at school and walked inside. The inside of the building was just as similar to South Park as the outside. Token met up with them in the hallway. A middle-aged man with short grey hair approached them.

"Excuse me, are you boys Craig, Clyde, Token, and Tweek?" They replied yes and he asked them to follow him to his office. In his small office, Mr. Larson, the guidance counselor who brought them in, asked them to take a seat.

"So I heard you boys got in some trouble back in South Park. I just wanted to let you know we don't allow such behavior here either, and we will be watching you until you prove you aren't bad kids." Craig wanted to flip him off, just for fun, but decided it might not be the best way to start off. He'd flip him off later.

The boys met with Dylan and headed to class. They entered their fourth grade classroom and gasped when they saw who their teacher was.

"Hello boys, come take a seat. My name is Mr. Hat and I'll be your teacher."


	4. Chapter 4: I Must Ask a Favre

_Chapter 4: I Must ask a Favre_

"Mr. Hat?" Clyde asked? He remembered the puppet from Mr. Garrison's 3rd Grade class.

"Hi Clyde. Please, take a seat." The boys sat down, confused. Not confused that their gay teacher's puppet that he used to channel his homosexual feelings into was now a teacher in North Park, but because they didn't know how he could reach the pedals to drive here.

"Now class, lets review our multiplication. What is 4x5? Clyde?"

"Uh, 16?" Clyde responded, unsure of himself.

"Err! Wrong! What a retard! Anybody else?" Clyde looked down, embarrassed. Dylan answered 20. The class continued reviewing until the end, when they took a quiz. Clyde struggled, but Craig helped him out.

The bell rang and the boys began to leave as Mr. Hat called them back in.

"I need to ask you guys a favor. If you see my husband, can you tell him I'm sorry? He refuses to talk to me after I told him what I did with Garrison last week."

"Husband?" Token asked. He was unaware that Mr. Hat had dated.

"Yes, Brett Favre. We met in a sauna and fell in love. He's in town somewhere. Please tell him for me."

The boys headed to the lunchroom, where they agreed to not tell Brett Favre, because that was something Cartman and those guys would do and would probably lead to them fighting the Green Bay Packers or some bullshit.

After lunch and some more class, the bell finally rang and school was over. Craig was in the bathroom looking at his injured nose when Trent and his friends came in. They locked the door behind them.

"It's Craig, right? You're friends with those assholes from South Park. What're you doin' in my town?"

"What are you doing out of juvenile hall?" Trent struck Craig in the stomach.

"I got out. Finished the tunnel I was diggin' through the wall of my cell last time I was in. Hidin' out here 'till they stop lookin' for me."

"What do you want with me?"

"You think you're a tough guy don't cha? Well you're not. You're a pussy. I run this school, and you ain't gonna change that."

"Look, I don't want to get in your way, and I don't care if you're trying to take over the school. That's cool. Just please leave me and my friends alone."

"I will mess with who ever I want, whenever I want. And besides, there's nothin' you can do to stop me from throwing around your little brown-hair buddy or beating up that tweeker."

Craig was powerless to do anything, especially alone with these three bullies. They stared at each other for a moment before Trent unlocked the door and left, his friends scurrying behind him.

…

**This part takes place during Craig and Trent's confrontation in the bathroom, focusing on what Clyde, Tweek, and Token were doing. **

Craig and Clyde were waiting at Clyde's locker for Tweek and Token. Craig had said he had to go to the bathroom and walked away. Token came around the corner, texting someone on his iPhone. Tweek soon followed.

"Who are you texting?" Clyde asked.

"Cartman. He says something weird is happening in South Park."

"Ask him what." Token's phone goes off and he reads the text to himself. "What did he say?" Clyde asked.

"All he said was I'll tell you later you black asshole."

"Wonder what's going on."

"Who knows, they could've done something to destroy the town again for all we know."

"Ah! W-Where's Craig?" Tweek asked.

"He went to bathroom just before you guys got here."

"What's taking him so long?" Token asked.

They looked down towards the bathroom when Trent came out with his friends behind him. The three of them became panicked. Then, Craig walked out, holding his stomach. The boys ran over to see if he was ok.

"I'm fine. But we have to do something about him. He's terrorizing the school, and we don't have Cartman and those guys anymore to do something about it for us."

"That reminds me. Cartman told me something is happening in South Park. He didn't say what." Craig smiled a little and though to himself. 'At least I don't have to worry about their problems anymore.' The boys all decided to walk home. Except Token, who had his parents pick him up. It would take him forever to climb the mountain on foot.

**End of Chapter 4**


	5. Chapter 5: Trouble in South Park

**Please note: This chapter is set during lunch just a couple hours before Cartman's text to Token telling him something is happening and calling him a black asshole. It is focused on the main 4 boys (Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny. Yes Kenny died but it's been a day so he's been reborn)**

…

_Chapter 5: Trouble in South Park_

"Today class, we are going to learn about World War 2." Mr. Garrison headed to the board to write something down. Cartman's face lit up at the chance to talk badly about Jews and not get in trouble.

"Now class, who knows something about World War 2?" Cartman's hand shot up. Garrison called on him.

"World War 2 was a mission by the Germans to rid the world of the money grubbing Jews."

"Goddamnit Cartman shut up!" Kyle yelled.

"Mr. Garrison, Kyle isn't letting me answer."

"Kyle shut up. Continue Eric." Garrison said, with a slight smirk.

"Unfortunately, the Allies of Evil came in and stopped them. The Jews survived and mated with the other evil race, gingers, to create a super race of evil demon spawn. And that's how Kyle was born."

"Goddamnit fat ass, stop talking about my people like that!"

"I'm not fat, daywalker!"

"Eric, Kyle, shut the hell up." The bell rang and the class headed into the halls. "Boys, wait a second." Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny came over to Mr. Garrison's desk. "I need you to do me a favor. I'm getting back together with Mr. Hat, but he can't break things up with Brett Favre. I need you boys to tell Brett Favre that Mr. Hat wants to break things off."

The boys went to lunch, where they agreed to tell Brett Favre the news for Garrison. They left the school and headed to Brett Favre's Sauna in South Park.

The boys knocked on the door of the sauna. Soon, Brett Favre opened the door. They told him Mr. Hat was breaking up with him. This angered him. He slammed the door in their faces and went to the phone. He called up his former teammates to help him find the man who stole his love from him, even if they had to destroy the town.

"What an asshole." Cartman said angrily.

"Screw Brett Favre. John Elway is a way better quarterback." Stan said.

The boys headed back to school, talking about how great John Elway and the Denver Broncos are.

Garrison was in the middle of class when they heard a loud noise. The class ran to the window to see the Green Bay Packers trashing the town. Principal Victoria came on over the loud speaker.

"Attention students, we are entering a lockdown. Teachers, lock all doors and windows and get your students to a safe area of the classroom."

"Oh hamburgers!" Butters said, worried.

"Cartman, what are you doing?" Stan asked.

"Texting Token."

"Why?" Kyle questioned.

"Because, we're friends."

"You made everyone think he was starting an apocalypse and then shot him." Stan added.

"Hey! He walked into my ground!" The enraged football team threw a football through the window, causing the class to jump and panic. Garrison was able to calm them down.

"Attention students!" Principal Victoria was clearly panicking and nervous. "We are going to evacuate out the back door and head for the bus which will take us to a safer area." Cartman realized he'd have to fill Token in later. The boys headed out the door with the rest of the class.

They sat on the bus waiting for the rest of the students to get on. They finally all got on and the bus started off towards the mountains. They were almost out of town when a football hit the tire, causing the bus to go out of control and crash into the snow bank. A few Packers came over and forced the kids to unload. They were escorted to the Community Center, where they were crammed with the rest of the remaining South Park citizens.

**End of Chapter 5**

**Every 5 chapters will focus on this side of the story. I know, it's more interesting at the moment, but worry not. There's plenty of drama and action coming to Craig and friends in North Park too. **


	6. Chapter 6: Second Verse Worst Than First

**Back to Craig, Clyde, Tweek, and Token :D**

**...**

_Chapter 6: Second Verse, Worst Than the First_

Craig woke up early in the morning. He looked at the clock to see it was only 6:21. He got up, wearing his Red Racer pajamas. He went to the bathroom and fixed his messy black hair. It was Friday, and their second day at school. He was hoping today would be better that yesterday. He fed his guinea pig Stripe and headed downstairs to get some breakfast.

...

Clyde woke up at 6:57 and went to the bathroom. He left the seat up and flipped off his mom's ghost, as always. He slithered his red shirt over his South Park Cows pajama shirt. He met his father in the kitchen, who was cooking him some waffles for breakfast.

...

Tweek woke up from a nightmare at 7:02. It was the fourth time that night. He kept dreaming about Trent beating them up and underwear gnomes. He found his parents in the kitchen drinking coffee. His mother poured him a cup.

...

Token slept in, knowing that at 8:30 his butler would bring him breakfast in bed and his clothes. Things were easy for Token since his family hired Jenkins. After Mr. Black won the big case of America vs. George Zimmerman for shooting a white kid, many people came to him asking for legal help. He was making more money that ever before.

...

Craig, Clyde, and Tweek narrowly avoided getting hit by the bus as it slid on some ice and lost control.

"Come on mothafuckas we late."

They got on the bus, careful to avoid sitting anywhere near Trent. They got to Trent's stop and they tried to hide their faces as he walked the aisle. That didn't stop him.

"Hey look, it's the three pussies."

"Leave us alone Trent." Clyde pleaded. This angered Trent. No one told Trent Boyette what to do. He threw Clyde on the ground and kicked him. Rick and Little Leo did the same. Infuriated, Craig sucker punched Trent. This pissed Trent off. A fight broke out between Craig and Trent. Frank called Mr. Larson and told him. He then had one of the 5th graders drive while he watched and cheered on the fight.

Craig landed an uppercut to Trent's chin, but he recovered quickly and nailed Craig in the side of the head. Trent tried to send a blow to Craig's forehead, but he was able to get out of the way and hit Trent with another punch to the jaw, chipping a tooth. At this point, Trent was red with anger. They traded blows. Craig, arguably the best fighter at South Park Elementary, was holding his own against the stronger Trent Boyette.

They got to the school and Frank returned to his seat. Mr. Larson sprinted on the bus and broke up the fight. Both boys were dragged to the office, and the other 4 were told to follow.

In Principal Jackson's office, Craig, Clyde, and Tweek sat waiting while Trent, Rick, and Leo were being talked to in Larson's office. Then the door opened and a tall, thin man entered. He had a goatee but was otherwise hairless.

"Well boys, you were expelled from you old school, and then you come here and get into a fight your second day?" Clyde and Tweek looked at the ground. Craig, who was used to being called to the office, stared forward. "I've got to say, I'm proud of you boys!" The boys looked at him in confused disbelief. "You, Craig, single handedly fought Trent Boyette for 4 minutes and didn't get your ass kicked. And you two didn't run away like pussies when he attacked."

"Thanks?" They said together, wondering if they'd still be punished.

"We by policy had to report it to the police. No worries, the cops stopped reading after they saw Trent's name. He's off to Colorado State Prison. Probably going to get raped." Craig smiled at the thought of Trent being bullied for once. Craig glanced up at the TV on the wall. Channel 9 News was on. They were saying something about the Green Bay Packers. He figured there must be a game with the Broncos. Mr. Jackson noticed Craig watching. "Yeah, real shame about what's going on over there in South Park, huh?"

"What?" Clyde said, shocked.

"You haven't heard? Brett Favre and the Green Bay Packers are pissed off for some reason and holding the town hostage after raiding and pillaging it." The boys looked at each other, glad they avoided that mess.

Back in the hallway, Tweek was worried about his friends in South Park. Craig tried to cheer him up by changing the subject. Its better that they forget their past life in South Park. Assuming there even is a South Park after all this.

**End of Chapter 6**


	7. Chapter 7: The Party

_Chapter 7: The Party_

Clyde couldn't sleep. He was still thinking about what they did in South Park. He knew it wasn't only his fault. When he realized what time it was, he gave up on sleep and got dressed. Today was one of the girls at school's birthday. Clyde and his friends were all invited, and they were going to meet up at Dylan's house at 9:00. The party wasn't until 2:00, but they figured they'd hang out with Dylan while they waited.

Craig and Tweek were already there when Clyde arrived. He tried to ignore what happened and have fun. A limo pulled up behind him and Token stepped out. They walked in together to find Craig, Tweek, Dylan, Rick, and Leo all watching TV. The new Terrance and Phillip episode was about to start. Clyde and Token joined in and watched their favorite show.

After watching Terrance and Phillip and Red Racer, which Craig demanded they watch, the boys still had 4 hours until the party. Rick suggested they play Star Wars, and everyone agreed. Rick was Luke Skywalker, Dylan was Obi Wan Kenobi, Leo was a Jedi apprentice, Clyde was Darth Vader, Tweek was The Emperor, Craig was Darth Maul, and Token was Mace Windu, because he's the only black Jedi.

The boys fought for hours until Mrs. Johnson, Dylan's mom, brought them all fish sticks for lunch. Clyde grinned.

"Hey Dylan, do you like fish sticks?" He asked.

"Yeah." Dylan replied.

"Do you like putting fish sticks in your mouth?"

"Yeah."

"What are you? A gay fish?" They all laughed at the greatest joke ever told. A knock interrupted their laughter. The door swung open and what appeared to be Aquaman walked in.

"Hey! Although I am a recovering gay fish, I will not tolerate people joking about them. They are great fish, and don't deserve to have people making fun of them!" The angry rapper shouted. "Now you stop making those jokes, alright?" The boys agreed, and Kanye West left, after taking all their fish sticks.

It was only an hour until the party and the boys were getting ready. The girl throwing the party, Britney, lived in the southern area of North Park, and it would take a while to get there from their street in the north. They left in Mr. Johnson's SUV and headed for the party.

They arrived at the party and saw everyone from school was just getting there too. They ran to join the others in the backyard.

Meanwhile, up on an overlooking hill, someone was watching. He was a scout, and was running back to tell his boss the good news.

"He's at the party, sir." The scout clicked.

"Very good. Get the crab soldiers ready. We must take him alive!" The leader of the crab people demanded.

**End of Chapter 7**


	8. Chapter 8: Raid of the Crab People

_Chapter 8: Raid of the Crab People_

An hour into the party, everyone was having fun. The boys had gotten separated but didn't seem to mind.

...

Craig was drinking punch and talking with Rick. He realized Rick was a nice kid, and only acted mean so Trent wouldn't hurt him. He enjoyed Star Wars and playing video games. He even liked Red Racer, which the two of them talked about for a while.

...

Token was talking with Leo in the house while they watched some kids playing Guitar Hero. Leo turned out to be friendly. He too only acted mean for Trent's protection. He was the football team's star wide receiver last year, and intended to continue that this season.

...

Tweek and Dylan were watching the people outside dancing. Dylan was still secretly afraid of the new kids. He knows what happens in South Park, and doesn't want that coming to his town. He had heard that the Green Bay Packers took the town hostage two days ago and worried they might come here.

...

Clyde was standing alone. He couldn't find his friends in the mob of people. He was walking around looking for them when he bumped unto a girl, knocking her over.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry!" He said as he helped her up. He recognized the girl. It was Britney.

"Oh hey, you're one of the new kids from South Park, right?"

"Yeah." He replied.

"Your name's Clyde, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Well, you want to dance?" Clyde was confused what to say. He was still technically dating Lisa Berger, but he didn't know if she moved on or if she even survived the attack by the Packers. He figured a dance isn't that bad, so he agreed. They began dancing. Clyde wasn't very good, but it made Britney laugh. The song ended and they were both smiling.

"That was fun Clyde. We should do this again." She kissed him on the cheek and turned to leave when she heard loud chants. The music stopped and the chant could be heard clearly.

"Crab People, Crab People. Taste like crab, talk like people." The chants grew louder ad the Crab People approached. They smashed through the fence in search of their target. Everyone ran. Clyde grabbed Britney's hand and pulled her to safety. They then ran off towards the Community Center together.

...

Token and Leo ran out the front door when they saw what was happening. They remembered seeing a small house by the lake. They decided to hide there for now.

...

Craig and Rick jumped the fence and ran to town. Rick's dad owned the gun store and there was a bunker underneath, so they were going there.

...

Tweek and Dylan tried to run, but were captured by Crab People. When their leader saw the target had escaped, he had them tied up at the camp on the hill. He would find Craig, even if it meant torturing these boys.

**End of Chapter 8**


	9. Chapter 9: Pandemic 3- The Split-up

_Chapter 9: Pandemic 3- The Split-up_

Craig and Rick managed to outrun the Crab People and got into the gun store. They began looking around for the key to the shelter. Rick's dad had never showed him where it was.

"Hey Craig. Check this out." Craig turned and was surprised when he looked down and saw the long shaft of Rick's hunting rifle. "This ought to take down some Crab People." Craig smiled. He grabbed another rifle off the shelf and put the strap around him. They may not have been able to get into the shelter, but they had protection. They climbed the rusted ladder leaning on the building to the roof, where they decided to camp out.

Craig was worried about his friends. He wondered if they made it out ok. The Crab People were merciless. He saw them kill one of his classmates as he was climbing over the fence. He tried calling Token, but he wasn't answering. He called Clyde too, but he remembered he forgot it at Dylan's house. Finally, he tried Tweek's phone, and he could've sworn he heard a ring, but ignored it and kept an eye out for Crab People.

...

"Damnit, no signal." Token cursed. He was trying to get ahold of his friends, but he struggled to get a reliable signal at the pond. He didn't dare wander off to find a better spot. He saw Crab People down by the water and they almost spotted him and Leo in the run-down shack.

"Still no reception?" Leo whispered.

"No, nothing."

"Well we can't go out now, there could be more of them."

"Yeah. I wonder why they attacked the party." Token peeked out the door as he said this. There were still more.

"I don't know. I hope the others are ok. I saw Clyde and Britney running ahead of us when we got out. Maybe they escaped."

"I hope so." The two of them sat in silence as another patrol of Crab People neared the pond. They were searching for someone. But who?

...

"Shit!" Clyde swore. The front doors to the community center were locked. They heard Crab People chants getting closer. They had hoped they lost them down by the pond, but they were still coming.

"Hey look!" Britney said, pointing to a neighboring building. "There's a roof access at the top. Maybe we can climb the stairs to the top of that building and jump over to the roof of the community center." With no better plan, Clyde agreed. They ran up the stairs of the moldy motel and reached the roof. A 4-foot gap stood between them and safety. Clyde was confident he could make it, but Britney was scared. He reached out his hand and she grabbed it. Holding hands, they jumped together and landed on the opposite rooftop. They sat there and looked at each other, smiling. Britney began moving closer. Clyde hesitated for a moment. He didn't want to cheat on Lisa.

'Aw fuck it.' He thought to himself. 'That picture of Lisa was fake anyway.' Clyde moved closer and they kissed.

...

Tweek struggled to squirm out of the roped that bound him and Dylan to the tree.

"Stop struggling, human. Our leader wishes to speak with you." The Crab People leader demanded. Behind him came a Black-haired man. He was nearly bald and wore a black suit with a red tie. The ex-secretary of homeland security walked up to Tweek.

"Where's Craig?" He shouted.

"I-I don't know!"

"You're lying! Tell me!"

"Oh man, this is way to much pressure!"

"He's telling the truth." Dylan added. "We all got separated at the party and the attack sent everyone scrambling. They could be anywhere."

"Well, you two are of no use to me. Get rid of them. I'm going to find that bastard Craig." The man turned into his true form, a giant guinea pirate, and headed into town.

Tweek and Dylan struggled as the Crab People carried them up the mountain. After making sure they were tied tightly, they pushed the boys down the mountain, sending them rolling towards the river. They laughed and walked back down. As they spun down the mountain, they hit a snow-covered rock. It sent them off course and they rolled down towards South Park. They passed out from the high-speed spinning and when they awoke, they found Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, and Butters surrounding them. The two boys looked around the South Park community center. There were hundreds of people crammed inside.

"Tweek? Are you ok?" Kyle asked, clearly worried.

"W-what's going on?"

"It's a long story." Stan replied.


	10. Chapter 10: The Sweet Escape

**This chapter is told from the South Park point of view once again. It picks up from the end of Chapter 9.**

_Chapter 10: The Sweet Escape_

Stan explained to Tweek what has happened since he was expelled. Tweek laughed.

"What the fuck's so funny, asshole?" Cartman asked.

"W-We agreed not to tell Brett Favre that Mr. Hat didn't want to break up, because we thought this might happen."

"Where did you see Mr. Hat?" Stan added.

"He's our teacher."

"The fuck?" Cartman said, confused.

"Where are Craig, Clyde, and Token? And who's he?" Kyle asked.

"W-We all got split up when the giant Guinea Pirate and Crab People attacked. Th-They are looking for Craig. And this is Dylan."

"Well hi Dylan. My name is Butters. Nice to meet you." Butters smiled at Dylan, who looked terrified. Not only was he surrounded by people from South Park, but now he was IN South Park.

"Good timing, we were just about to break out of here." Stan said.

"Ok let's go over the plan. First Stan and-" Kyle was cut off by Cartman.

"Stan, Tweek, Butters, Kenny, me, and the new kid run for the exit while Kyle sacrifices himself to the Green Bay Packers."

"No fat ass. No one is dying." Stan said sternly.

"Wait, why don't we just walk out the back door?" Dylan suggested.

"Where's the fun in that, kid?" Stan asked.

"Craig was right, you guys are nothing but trouble." Tweek added.

"Hey, screw Craig. He's an asshole. We tried to make up for the whole losing his 100 dollars and being sent to Peru thing, but he wouldn't join our other bands." Cartman said.

"Well I'm going out the back door. If you guys want to try your plan, and probably make things worse and destroy your town, again, go ahead." Dylan said defiantly. He and Tweek walked to the back door.

"The Packers will stop them and they'll come crawling back." The two walked out the door. "Any second now." A few minutes passed and none of the football players even seemed to notice. "Goddamnit." Stan cursed and the four boys followed behind Tweek and Dylan. Butters stayed behind. He was too scared.

They decided they needed help. They had to find Craig, Clyde, and Token. They hurried to the bus station just outside town. They were in luck. The buses were still running. They boarded the bus to North Park.

After the drive, the boys got off the bus to see nothing but destruction. The buildings in the south area of town were destroyed, but the homes further north seemed undamaged. Crab People were everywhere.

"Oh my god, look!" Kyle shouted. They looked to where he was pointing and saw the Guinea Pirate from Peru.

"Didn't Craig defeat him?" Stan asked. Dylan scoured through his backpack he had brought along with him. He pulled out binoculars and handed them to Stan. Stan scanned the town and spotted Clyde and a blonde girl kissing on top of the community center.

"I see Clyde! Lets go." The boys rushed to the building, careful to avoid being spotted. They pulled at the door but it wouldn't budge.

"It's locked." Kyle said with a frown.

"No its not you stupid Jew. You're using the wrong door." Cartman walked up to the left side of the double-door entrance and pulled. The door swung open and the boys entered. They scaled the staircase to the roof, where they found Clyde and Britney talking.

"Clyde!" Stan shouted. Clyde was startled by the familiar voice.

"Stan? What're you doing here?"

"We need help getting rid of the Green Bay Packers. They've taken over." Clyde and Tweek looked at each other and giggled. "It's not funny."

"Say Clyde, who's your girlfriend?" Cartman said slyly.

"She-She's not my girlfriend." Clyde said worried. "This is Britney. We're uh, just friends."

"Oh please Clyde, we saw you two up here." Cartman said. He then proceeded to mock them. " 'Oh Britney I love you sooo much!' 'I love you too Clyde! Mwah. Mwah. Mwah.' "

"Stop it fat ass. You can pick on Clyde later." Kyle took the binoculars from Stan and searched around. He spotted Token looking around by the pond. He was surrounded by Crab People though, and they wouldn't be able to get to him. He then spotted a blue hat in the distance. "I think I see Craig! Over there at that gun store."

"What about Token?" Cartman asked.

"He's by the pond. Too many Crab People. He's fine though." The boys headed towards the gun store.

They were nearly there. Just another block and they'd be across the street from Craig. As they drew close, two Crab People marched out of an alley and spotted them. They started to charge at them when two loud bangs rang out. The Crab People dropped to the cold pavement. The boys looked up to see Craig with a rifle. He motioned for them to come up. The boys climbed the crumbling ladder and met up with Craig and Rick.

"Thanks Craig. You saved our asses" Kyle said.

"We need your help. We told Brett Favre that Mr. Hat was breaking up with him and now the Green Bay Packers are holding the town hostage demanding to know who he's with now." Craig, Clyde, and Tweek looked at each other and giggled again.

"See? I told you guys that was something they'd do." Craig laughed.

"Goddamnit we don't have time for this. We need to save Token from the Crab People, stop the Guinea Pirate and Save Sou-"

"Guinea what?" Craig interrupted Stan.

"Guinea Pirate. The one you defeated in Peru. And we then have to save South Park with Mr. Hat's help." Craig sighed. He hated getting mixed up in those guys' bullshit, but he had no choice. This stuff would follow him wherever he goes anyway.

"Fine, lets go." Craig got guns for the rest of the boys and they headed for the center of town. They began gunning down the Crab People terrorizing the people.

"Damnit Cartman, don't eat them!" Kyle yelled.

"But they're so delicious." The Crab People noticed Cartman eating one of them and, panicked, ran away to return to their underground lair. Cartman chased after them.

"Hello, boys." The Guinea Pirate approached. "I just want Craig. The rest of you can live. Just hand him over."

"Look, I don't want to stop you, I don't care, I'm just going to go home, ok? Watch." Craig started to walk away when the ground started to glow. "Oh goddamnit not again." Lasers shot out of Craig's eyes, defeating the Guinea Pirate once again.

"Guys?" Token walked out from behind the stunned guinea pig with Leo. The boys were all reunited, and now all that was left was to save their hometown.

**End of Chapter 10**


	11. Chapter 11: Super Bowl- Cows vs Packers

**A/N: The final chapter :( Just in time for the Superbowl though**

_Chapter 11: South Park Cows vs. Green Bay Packers_

The boys entered the locker room of their school. They knew there was only one way to defeat an angry football team. The boys put on their pads and helmets and went to challenge the Green Bay Packers to a game of football.

...

"You 11 elementary school kids want to play us in football?" Brett Favre said confused.

"You heard us. You gonna play us or are you a pussy?" Cartman taunted.

"We don't need to play against you. We're the best football team ever. I'm the greatest quarterback ever."

"Wrangler jeans suck ass." Brett Favre was shocked at Cartman's statement. "They are poorly designed pieces of shit. Only fags wear Wrangler jeans."

"Wrangler jeans are amazing! Everyone wears them."

"Everyone who's a fag."

"Stop it! Harley riders don't even deserve to wear jeans, let alone Wrangler jeans. It's on! If you win, we'll leave. If we win, you have to stop lying about Wrangler Jeans.

...

The town gathered in the stands to watch the game. Jimbo took bets. The whole town bet on the Packers. The Cows won the coin toss and received the ball first. Tweek caught the ball at the 20-yard line and panicked when he saw the huge men flying at him. They crushed him and the ball flew into the air. Craig caught it and ran it to the 35 before being tackled. They huddled up.

"Hey you, kid. Aren't you that really good wide receiver from North Park?" Stan asked.

"Yeah." Leo responded.

"Ok, I'll throw it to you." They lined up and Cartman hiked the ball. Stan threw the ball just as the defenders reached him. Leo caught it at the 50 and ran out of bounds to avoid getting clobbered. Craig offered to play running back. Stan handed the ball off to him on the second play and he squeezed by the defenders. He managed to outrun them and score. It was now 7-0. The crowd went silent when they realized their mistake. All except Jimbo, who secretly bet on his nephew Stan.

The packers got the ball at the 26. They agreed on two hand touch rules since the kids couldn't tackle them. Craig put his hands on the kick returner just as he caught it. Brett Favre took the snap and threw it to his receiver on the left. Clyde intercepted it at the 50. He was tackled immediately.

"Way to go Brett Favre! Choking in the big game again!" Randy Marsh yelled from the sideline.

"Shut up and sit down!" Someone in the crowd with a Favre jersey yelled. Randy took off his shirt and taunted him. They began to fight.

"Not again." Stan said, holding the bridge of his nose.

Cartman screwed up the hike and threw it too high. Craig managed to get it but he was tackled at the 45 for a loss of 5 yards. Cartman hiked again, this time to Stan, and Stan launched it to Kyle who caught it in the end zone. Touchdown Cows. It was now 14-0.

Time wound down with no scores. They reached halftime. Richard Stamos once again played at the show, signing "Loving You". He screwed up the high F, again.

The game resumed and the Packers started with the ball. The kickoff was a little short. They got it at the 40 and managed to run it back for a touchdown. 14-7. South Park got the ball. Token ran the ball up but fumbled when he got hit. The Packers got it and scored again. It was tied at 14. The crowd cheered. Jimbo was getting nervous.

Craig went back to get the kick this time. He ran it up. He managed to avoid a tackle and made it out to the 20-yard line. They were almost to the end zone. Stan tried three times to get the touch down, but the defenders swatted down all the passes. Rick lined up for a field goal. He missed. The Packers laughed as they gained possession. The third quarter ended with no score change.

In the fourth quarter, the Packers didn't try too hard. They stopped the cows from scoring, but didn't score themselves. With only a minute remaining, Favre had to prove he could win big games. Favre saw an open receiver and sent the ball to him. The pass was aimed perfectly to Craig across the field. He caught it and ran. Randy Marsh, who won the fight, could be heard making choking noises directed at Favre. The Packers attacked. Before they could hit him, he flicked the ball to Rick, who continued to run it. He saw the Packers gaining on him and flicked it to Clyde, who ran it to the 10-yard line before being tackled. With only 3 seconds left after that drawn out interception. They had to play it safe. They put Rick out to kick a short field goal. He kicked it wrong and it went to the right. A Packers player jumped to block it, but instead deflected it. The ball curved back towards the goal and went through. The Cows had won. 17-14. Favre threw down his helmet as Randy continued to taunt him.

Mr. Hat told Brett Favre he didn't want to break up with him, but after what he did, he changed his mind. Brett Favre was embarrassed for being jealous. He went back home to his wife, as did the rest of the team. They had an amazing orgy that night. The Guinea Pirate was arrested again, but he broke out and went back into hiding. The Crab People returned to their underground home, where they began plotting their next attack on the surface.

"Boys, I'd like to have a word with you, m'kay?" The boys gathered around Mr. Mackey. "Boys I'd like to thank you on behalf of the entire town for coming back and saving us, m'kay? And you four," He looked at Craig, Clyde, Tweek, and Token. "I'd like to invite you back to South Park Elementary." The boys cheered. They'd miss their new friends, but they were happy to be back in their hometown.

They started walking together.

"What did you guys do to get expelled anyway?" Rick asked.

"They tried to launch a toy rocket into space, but it went out of control and hit Mr. Mackey in the dick. Rumor is he had to have it cut off." Cartman replied. Everyone started to laugh. They then continued to walk.

"Well I guess this is goodbye." Dylan said.

"Guess so." Token relied.

"You guys are always welcome to visit whenever you want." Dylan said with a smile. They said their goodbyes. Clyde and Britney walked off alone.

"I really enjoyed my time with you Clyde."

"So did I." They leaned in and kissed.

"You still owe me that second dance, Clyde." Clyde smiled. They started to dance.

"Ew, get a room you two." Cartman said disgusted. The two blushed and decided to dance together later in private.

"Something feels wrong. Like we forgot something." Stan said. Kenny glanced around. 'I made it to the end and only died once!'

"Woo-hoo!" Kenny yelled in excitement. A horn was heard as Frank's bus came flying down the road. It smashed into Kenny, killing him on impact.

"Oh my god!" Stan and Clyde yelled.

"They killed Kenny!" Kyle and Craig added.

**End of Chapter 11, and the End of North Park**

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Keep an eye out for my next story, _Inspector Butters and the Case of the Stolen Sushi._ It will be a follow up to this story, and the second story in my series, "The Other Boys of South Park". You can read more about my current and future plans, and more, by visiting my profile.


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